January 12th

Genesis 26:17-27:46

Isaac moved back to Gerar. He reopened the wells that had been closed, and gave them the same names his father had. Two wells that Isaac dug the people of the land fought him over, but when he finally dug one they didn’t he said, “‘Now the Lord has given us room and we will flourish in the land.’”

Again, God promises Isaac that he is going to bless the descendants of Abraham. Isaac builds an altar and digs another well. King Abimelech, who had recently made Isaac move, comes to him. Isaac is confused and asks why he has come to him, since he just sent them away. They answered that they saw that the LORD favored Isaac. They wanted a treaty. So Isaac made them a feast and they swore an oath to be in peace.

Esau, Isaac’s firstborn son, marries a girl named Judith at the same time that Isaac marries Rebekah (they were both 40). The Bible says, “They were a source of grief to Isaac and Rebekah.” When Isaac got old, and couldn’t see well, he decided it was time to give his blessing to Esau. He sent him out on a hunt. But Rebekah, hearing this and greatly favoring Jacob, had Jacob go two choice goats so that she could prepare a meal and Jacob could take it to his father so he could get the blessings. Rebekah gives him Esau’s clothing to wear, and covers the smooth parts of his hands and neck with goatskin. Isaac knew something was up, because he was HEARING Jacob, but feeling hair on his hands, like Esau. But Jacob convinced him that he was Esau, and finally got the blessing.

Ah, the smell of my son

Is like the smell of a field

That the LORD has blessed.

May God give you of heaven’s dew

And of earth’s richness-

And abundance of grain and new wine.

May nations serve you

And peoples bow down to you.

Be lord over your brothers,

And may the sons of your mother bow down to you.

May those who curse you be cursed

And those who bless you be blessed.

When Esau returned from hunting, he prepared tasty food and took it to his father. When he said he was Esau, “Isaac trembled violently and said, ‘Who was it, then, that hunted game and brought it to me? I ate it just before you came and I blessed him- and indeed he will be blessed!” Esau cried out and asked for a blessing as well. Jacob had now tricked him twice, once for his birthright and now for his blessing. Isaac had made Jacob lord of Esau and all his relatives and servants. The only blessing Isaac gave him was the following:

Your dwelling will be

Away from the earth’s richness,

Away from the dew of heaven above.

You will live by the sword

And you will serve your brother.

But when you grow restless,

You will throw his yoke from off your neck.”

Esau held a grudge, and vowed to kill Jacob after Isaac passed.

Rebekah warned Jacob. She told him to flee.

Matthew 9:1-17

Jesus heals a paralytic. First he says, “Take heart, son, your sins are forgiven.”

The people of the law that heard this thought Jesus was blaspheming.

Jesus knows what they are thinking, and shows them that not only does he have the authority to forgive sins, but he can also heal the man. He tells him to take up his mat and walk. The man does. The crowd that saw this were amazed, and praised God.

Jesus also sees Matthew, the tax collector, and tells him to follow him. Matthew does.

Jesus eats dinner with Matthew at his house, along with other tax collectors and “sinners” and there were many Pharisees that saw this that say ‘Why does your teacher eat with tax collectors and ‘sinners’?’ On hearing this, Jesus said, ‘It is not the healthy who need a doctor, but the sick. But go and learn what this means: ‘I desire mercy, not sacrifice.’ For I have not come to call the righteous, but sinners.’”

Psalms 10:16-18

The LORD is KING for ever and ever;

The nations will perish from his land.

You hear, O LORD, the desire of the afflicted;

You encourage them, and you listen to their cry,

Defending the fatherless and the oppressed,

In order that man, who is of the earth, may terrify no more.

Proverbs 3:9-10

Honor the LORD with your wealth,

with the firstfruits of all your crops;

then your barns will be filled to overflowing,

and your vats will brim over with new wine. 

January 11th

Genesis 24:52-26:16

Abraham’s servant was overjoyed to hear that they were obedient to the LORD. “He brought out gold, and silver jewelry and articles of clothing and gave them to Rebekah; he also gave costly gifts to her brother and to her mother.” They woke the next day and started the journey back. As they were approaching the end, Rebekah saw Isaac in the field and covered herself with her veil. “Isaac brought her into the tent of his mother Sarah, and he married Rebekah. So she became his wife, and he loved her; and Isaac was comforted after his mother’s death.”

Abraham also took another wife and had more sons. But he left everything he owned to Isaac. Abraham died at 175 years of age. He was buried with his first wife, Sarah.

Ishmael, who was Abraham’s son through Hagar, had 12 sons. He lived 137 years and then died. His descendants settled near the border of Egypt, and they lived in hostility toward all their brothers.

Isaac, Abraham’s son through Sarah, married Rebekah when he was 40. He prayed to the LORD on her behalf because she wasn’t able to have children. The LORD answered his prayer and Rebekah got pregnant. She noticed, however, that the babies seemed to be “jostling each other within her”. She said “ ‘Why is this happening to me?’ So she went to inquire of the LORD. The LORD said to her, ‘Two nations are in your womb, and two peoples from wit you will be separated; one people will be stronger than the other, and the older will serve the younger.’” Rebekah had twin boys, Esau and Jacob. Esau came out first, red and hairy. Jacob came out second, holding onto his brother’s heel. Esau became a hunter, spending most of his time outdoors, and Jacob was quiet, and stayed close to the tents. At one point, Esau came home from a hunt extremely hungry. Jacob was cooking stew and Esau, out of desperation, sold Jacob his birthright for some of the stew.

There was famine in the land, and the LORD told Isaac to keep his family in their land and not go down to Egypt. He reminded him of his promise, to make Abraham’s descendents as numerous as the starts.

Interesting. Like father, like son. Isaac also tells the men of his land that his wife is his sister, for fear that they’ll kill him. It isn’t until the King sees him caressing her that he says, “She really is your wife?? Someone could have taken him for his wife! Why did you do this?” Instead of driving them out, the King decrees that no one touch Isaac or his wife. Isaac plants crops and reaps greatly. His wealth continues to grow. “ He had so many flocks and herds and servants that the Philistines envied him. So all the wells that his father’s servants had dug in the time of his father Abraham, the Philistines stopped up, filing them with earth. Then Abimelech said to Isaac, ‘Move away from us; you have become too powerful for us.’”

So Isaac moves.

Matthew 8:18-34

Crowds continue to follow Jesus. The disciples are learning important lessons about their loyalty. Jesus climbed into a boat and the disciples followed him, and before they knew it, without warning, a really bad storm hit. Waves were covering the boat, and Jesus was sleeping through it all. The disciples were frantic, and woke him, exclaiming that they were going to drown. He said back to them, “ ‘You of little faith, why are you so afraid?’ Then he got up and rebuke the winds and the waves, and it was completely calm.” The disciples were amazed. They’d seen Jesus heal people, but to see even nature obey him was astounding. Even the winds and waves obeyed him.

When they got off the boat there were two demon-possessed men. Jesus sent out the demons into a heard of pigs, and the whole herd rushed into a lake and died. Those that were watching the pigs went into town to tell everyone what had happened. The whole town went out to meet Jesus, and begged him to leave their region.

Psalm 10:1-15

LORD, why are you far away.

Why do you hide?

Wicked men are arrogant, hunt down the week, boast of their own desires, bless the greedy, and don’t seek out the LORD. In all of his thoughts there is no room for God.

Out of all the thoughts I have in a day, do I make room for God?  His ways are prosperous, and he says that nothing will shake. He thinks he’ll always be happy and never have any trouble. He curses and threatens often, with trouble and evil on his tongue. He lies in wait like a lion to catch the helpless. He thinks that God has forgotten.

ARISE, LORD.

LIFE UP YOUR HAND, O GOD.

Do not forget the helpless.

Don’t let the wicked go unaccounted for.

You see trouble and grief.

Victims look to You to be the Avenger.

Call the wicked to account!

Proverbs 3:7-8

Don’t consider yourself wise.

Fear the LORD. 

January 10th

Genesis 21:1-24:51

Abraham’s wife, Sarah dies. He buys a field and cave from the Hittites to bury her, even though they insisted on giving it to him. Abraham was also getting along in years, and had his chief servant swear by putting his hand under his thigh that he would get a wife for his son, Isaac, from Abraham’s country among his own relatives, instead of from the Canannite people. He didn’t want Isaac to go back to that country, but wanted the girl to come to Isaac. God had given his family that land. Abraham saw the importance of his family staying in the land that God had promised them. If the woman didn’t want to come back with the servant, Abraham said he would be released from the oath, but just couldn’t take Isaac back there.

The servant asked God to help him find this girl, and said that whichever girl he asked for water also offered to water the camels, that would be the girl that God wanted for Isaac. Before he had finished praying, Rebekah came out. She did what the servant as looking for, by giving him and his camels water. When he asked her what family she was from, she said Nahor, descendents of Abraham. He gave her bracelets and a nose ring, I’m assuming to signify that he wanted her to marry Isaac. She ran back and told her family, and they invited him to their house to eat and stay. He wouldn’t eat till he gave them his message and at this time he told them about his mission to find Isaac a wife. He asked her parents, “’Now if you will show kindness and faithfulness to my master, tell me; and if not, tell me, so I may know which way to turn.’ Laban and Bethuel answered, ‘This is from the LORD; we can say nothing to you one way or the other. Here is Rebekah; taker her and go, and let her become the wife of your master’s son, as the Lord has directed.’”

Matthew 8:1-17

Large crowds are following Jesus and a man with leprosy approaches. With great faith he says, “’Lord if you are willing, you can make me clean.’” Jesus touched him, and immediately he was clean.

A centurion approaches Jesus and mentions his servant at home who is paralyzed and suffering. Jesus says he’ll go to the centurion’s house, but the centurion doesn’t feel he deserves for Jesus to come under his roof. He says that if Jesus will say the word, he believes his servant will be healed, without Jesus even being there. Jesus says, “ ‘I tell you the truth, I have not found anyone in Israel with such great faith.’ “ He tells the centurion to go and it will be done.

Jesus then healed Peter’s mother-in-law of fever. Evening brought more healing, with some who were demon-possessed being brought to him.

All of this was to, “fulfill what was spoken through the prophet Isaiah:

He took up our infirmities

And carried our diseases. (Isaiah 53:4)

Psalm 9:13-20

O LORD, see how my enemies persecute me! (who are his enemies in this?)

Have mercy.

Lift me from the gates of death.

Lift me so that I can DECLARE your praises.

“The nations have fallen into the pit they have dug;

Their feet are caught in the net they have hidden.

The LORD is known by his justice; the wicked are ensnared by the work of their hands.”

Man can’t triumph.

Don’t let them us, LORD.

Let them be judged by you, in your presnese.

Arise!

Let them know that they are only men.

YOU are God.

You are LORD.

Proverbs 3:1-6

Don’t forget my teachings.

Keep my commands in your heart.

Don’t ever leave behind love and faithfulness.

Keep them with you at all times.

Around your neck, even, like a necklace.

Close and always with you.

Write them on your heart.

They can’t be taken from you if they’re on your heart.

“Trust in the LORD with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding;

In all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make your paths straight.” 

January 8th & 9th

Genesis 18:20-22:24

There is a verse just three verses before this passage that indicates that something is about to happen. Chapter 18:16-17 says, "When the men got up to leave, they looked down toward Sodom, and Abraham walked along with them to see them on their way. Then the LORD said, 'Shall I hide form Abraham what I am about to do?'" I definitely think that God is referring to the destruction that's about to happen. I wonder why he would feel he needed to hide it from Abraham? Would it be too much for him to handle? Is it because Abraham knows that Lot is there? 

As the reading begins, God wants to visit Sodom to see if the outcry about Sodom is as bad as what he's been hearing. It says that the men head to Sodom, but Abraham remains standing before the LORD. And this is where he begins bargaining. He asks if God will really sweep away all of Sodom, the righteous with the wicked? He asks, if there are 50 righteous people, will he forgive them and spare them? Abraham has some pretty bold language here, saying "Far be it from you to kill the righteous with the wicked- treating the righteous and the wicked alike! Far be it from you! Will not the Judge of all the earth do right?" (ch. 18 vs. 25) Such a bold statement to make before the God of the heavens and earth! But God hears him. He will spare the whole city if 50 righteous are found. Abraham carries on with this bargaining until he gets it down to 10 righteous. And God agrees. If as little as 10 righteous people are found in Sodom, God won't destroy it. Deal. 

The two angels approach the city. Lot is at the gates. They say they'll spend the night in the square and he pleads with them to come to his house. While there, the men of the city surround the house, call out to Lot and tell him to bring out the men so they can have sex with them. Lot pleads with them, and even offers his OWN DAUGHTERS, who are virgins, for the men to sleep with. His two daughters, who we later find out are already pledged to be married. But they insist, they want the men that entered the town. They even try to break down the door. The angels reach out and pull Lot back in, and then tell him he must leave the city with his family, as they are going to destroy it. The sons-in-laws don't believe Lot, and he hesitates, but the angels grab his hands, and the hands of his wife and daughters and lead them out of the city. They tell him to flee, not to look back. Then the LORD rained down burning sulfur on Sodom and Gomorrah and kills every living thing there, including vegetation. Lot's wife looks back on the city, and is turned into a pillar of salt. 

The next morning, Abraham saw the smoke rising from the cities. But God kept his promise by sparing the lives of Lot and his daughters. They settled in the mountains. I have no idea why the next part is in the Bible, or if it was even considered wrong in this day and age, but the daughters became concerned they they couldn't continue their family line without males around. So they both get their father, Lot, drunk and sleep with him and get pregnant. So strange. 

In Genesis 20, we see that Abraham moves on again. And ONCE AGAIN, he tells Sarah to say that she is his sister. And once again she is taken by a king, Abimelech. (Isn't she like 100 now??) But the king doesn't touch her, and when God warns him that he has taken a married woman and is as good as dead, the king pleads with God saying he did it under a clear conscience. God agrees and says to return Sarah. Abimelech does and asks Abraham why he would do such a thing. Abraham goes so far as to say that she IS his sister (she is his half sister), but the point of the matter is that she's first and foremost his WIFE. Abraham prayed for Abimelech's family and God reopened their wombs, which he had closed because of Sarah. What I don't understand is why God didn't punish Abraham? 

Sarah does have a son, they name him Isaac, and at a feast where they are blessing him, Ishmael (the son of the slave named Hagar) is mocking Isaac. Sarah wants to have him gotten rid of. But this bothers Abraham, because Ishmael is also his son. God again promises that he will make Ishmael into a great nation, and so Abraham sends him off with his mother into the desert with water. When the water runs dry, Hagar thinks they will die. Ishmael starts to cry and God hears him. They see a well, are saved, and God continues to watch over him for the rest of his life. He becomes an archer, and the father of many nations. 

This is also the chapter where God tests Abraham by asking him to sacrifice his son. Abraham goes through with all the plans, and has his son bound on the altar with his knife raised when God steps in. He says to Abraham that He knows he fears the LORD and not to lay a hand on the boy. He provides a ram for the sacrifice instead of Abraham's son. 

Matthew 6:25-7:29
Do not worry about your food or clothes. Life is more important. The birds trust God to provide for them and you are more valuable than the birds. "But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness and all these things will be given to you as well. Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own." (ch. 6 vs. 33-34) Do not judge, or you will be judged. Don't look at the speck in someone else's eye when you've got a log in your own. Watch out for false prophets. You will recognize them by their bad fruits. Every good tree bears good fruit. And every bad tree, bad fruit. "Not everyone who says to me, 'Lord, Lord' will enter the kingdom of heaven, but only he who does the will of my Father who is in heaven. Many will say to me on that day, "Lord, Lord, did we not prophesy in your name, and in your name drive out demons and perform many miracles? Then I will tell them plainly, 'I never knew you. Away from me you evildoers'"

Psalm 8:1-9
LORD, your name is majestic over all the earth.
Even children and little babies praise you from their lips. 
The heavens, the moon, the stars are all set in place by you. 
How is it that you are even mindful of us, much less LOVE us??
You made us just lower than heavenly beings. 
And we are crowned with glory and honor. 
We are so unworthy! 
You made us rulers over this vast creation. 
Do we treat it well? Do we treasure it well? 
Are we thankful? Do we take advantage of this gift? 
You are MAJESTIC over all the earth. 
May we understand that to its full extent and live in thankfulness. 

Psalm 9:1-12
I will praise you, O LORD, with all my heart. 
To other people I will tell how wonderful you are. 
I will be glad, rejoice and sing praises to you O MOST HIGH
You uphold me, even among my enemies. 
You judge righteously.
Let me not doubt that.
You rebuke us. We need it. 
You destroy the wicked. You are the Judge.
You reign forever. 
You govern with justice. 
The Lord is a refuge for the oppressed, a stronghold in times of trouble. 
Those who know your name will trust in you, for you, LORD, have never forsaken those who seek you. (vs. 10)
We will proclaim your name among the nations. 

Proverbs 2:6-22
The LORD gives wisdom. 
He is a shield to those who walk blameless.
He guards the course of the just and protects the faithful. 
THEN you will understand what is right and just and fair- every good path.
For WISDOM will enter your heart, and knowledge will be pleasant to your soul.
Discretion will protect you, and understanding will guard you. 
Wisdom will save you from the ways of wicked men, 
who leave the straight paths to walk in dark ways,
delight in wrong
rejoice in perverseness,
whose paths are crooked
and ways devious.
WISDOM will save you from the adulteress and the wayward wife
You will walk in the ways of good men,
stay on the righteous path. 

January 6th & 7th

It's been a busy weekend, and I got a little behind. I do want to say again, that I'm not following this plan to check something off the list. Except that I do know that I'm the kind of person that needs to have a list that I can follow, so knowing that, maybe I am checking it off "the list". I feel like I was always told to not spend time reading the Bible as if it was something to check off. But then, if I didn't feel like reading the Bible, I wouldn't, because I didn't want to read if I had the wrong motives. I see the error in that now. I do think there are times we don't want to read, but need to. And even if that feels like checking something off, and even if I'm the kind of person that needs some structure and can't always just ask God to show me where to read from, that's ok. As long as I'm asking Him to do work in my heart no matter when I read. Learning lessons here. Daily, it feels like sometimes.

I'll do January 6th-7th today, January 8th-9th tomorrow, and January 10th-11th on Wednesday and that will be caught up. Feels good to have a feasible plan.

Genesis 13:5-18:19-
Lot and Abram split ways. Choose to live in separate areas of the land. Lot chooses near Sodom. It mentions that the men of Sodom are very wicked.
God promises to Abram that his descendants will be as numerous as the dust, and gives him the land to every side.
Then there are all these kings that go to war against each other. There are four kings that go to war against five other kings (including the kings of Sodom and Gomorrah). The four kings win out, and they take all the food and goods of Sodom and Gomorrah, as well as Abram's nephew Lot and his possessions, as they are living near Sodom. This is when Abram gets involved. He takes 318 trained men and went in pursuit. With those few men, he brings back Lot and his posessions. He gets a blessing my the King of Salem, Melchizedek, who says "Blessed be Abram by God Most High, Creator of heaven and earth. And blessed be God Most High, who delivered your enemies into your hand." Abram made sure not to keep anything from Sodom's plunder, as God had warned me not to do so, so that the king of Sodom could never say that Abram got rich because of him. This just reminds me of the idea that God is always looking for ways to bring glory to Himself. I used to think that this didn't make much sense, that it sounded a little bit selfish. But it was explained to me one time that not only is He the only one that deserves all the glory, but also that this could actually be God's way of protecting us from taking all the glory ourselves, because as imperfect and sinful human beings, we can't handle taking the glory. 
It's also at this time that God promises Abram that he will have a descendent from his own flesh that will gain his inheritance. This is a big promise, as Abram is well aged in years. Abram wants to know how he can be sure God is going to keep this promise. So God tells him to bring a sacrifice of a heifer, a goat and a ram, each three years old, and a dove and young pigeon. He cuts everything but the birds in half. The sun begins to set and Abram gets a deep sense of dread. God tells him that his descendants will be enslaved for 400 years, but will then be freed, and those that enslaved them will be punished. Abram's descendants will come out with great possessions. When it became dark, a "smoking firepot with a blazing torch appeared and passed between the pieces" (ch. 15 vs. 17). This was God's way of saying He would make good on His promise.
However, Sarai, Abram's wife had never given him any children. She did have an Egyptian maidservant named Hagar, and she decided, instead of trusting in the Lord's promise, to take matters into her own hands and send Hagar to Abram so that he could have children with her. Abram agreed. But when Hagar got pregnant, she despised Sarai. This caused major tensions. Sarai blamed Abram, Abram told Sarai to do with her as she pleased, and Sarai mistreated her (who knows what that means) and so Hagar fled. An angel told Hagar to go back, however, and submit to Sarai, and that they would "so increase her descendants that they would be too numerous to count. The angel also told her that her son should be named Ishmael, and that "his hand would be against everyone and everyone's hand against him, and he will live in hostility toward all his brothers." 
Hagar then gave the LORD a name, which I think is just so cool. She says, "'You are the God who sees me', for she said, 'I have now seen the One who sees me.'" (ch. 16. v. 13) The God who sees me. How long had Hagar gone without someone really seeing her? She was a slave to Abram and Sarai, and was used without much thought to the harm it might do to her. She's sent to Abram to try and conceive a child that, as far as Sarai is concerned, is going to be who Sarai and Abram build a family through, leaving Hagar out of the picture (ch. 16. vs. 2). When Hagar does get pregnant, is obviously bitter about the situation, and then Sarai starts to mistreat her, God steps in. He sees Hagar in her flight. He sends an angel to meet her where she's at. The angel asks her two things. Where she's come from and where she's going. It's interesting to me that Hagar only answers the first question, that she's running from Sarai. Maybe she has no clue where she's going, which shows the desperation she had to get out of there. To be pregnant and have no idea where you're going, where you're going to get your sustenance, but to still flee. That's desperate. And then, to feel, perhaps at your loneliest, and have God step in. She knows that He sees her. And she gives Him the name El Roi, The God Who Sees. 
Hagar returned, and had Ishmael when Abram was 86 years old. God had a promise to keep, but in His timing. It wasn't until Abram was 99 years old that God said again he would confirm His covenant and greatly increase Abram's numbers. God changed his name to Abraham, which means father of many. He says He will be Abraham's God and the God of his descendants. God sets up the sign of the covenant between God and Abraham to be circumcision. Abraham is to undergo it, yes at his age, and all the generations to come, whether born in his household or bought with his money, must undergo it. God also changes Sarai's name to Sarah. God says he will surely give Abraham a son by her. Abraham's response? To fall facedown and...laugh! He laughs! He seems to think it's crazy for a 100 year old man and 90 year old woman to conceive a child, and asks if only Ishmael could receive the blessing. But God presses on, saying Sarah will have a son and they will call him Isaac. God does say that he will bless Ishmael, but it will be through Isaac that God will keep His covenant. All the men are circumcised.
Three men then visit Abraham and his wife, and say that by this time next year, Sarah will have borne a son. Sarah is the next one to laugh, and when asked why she does, she lies and said she didn't.

Matthew 5:27-6:24
Jesus is still speaking to the crowds at this point. He warns against adultery, outright and in your heart. He warns against letting your body sin against you. It also goes through some specifics on divorce and talks about the importance of keeping your oaths. Let your yes be yes and your no be no. There's no need to swear by something if you always keep your word. He continues on to talk about not getting revenge, or an eye for an eye and a tooth for a tooth, but if someone strikes one cheek, turning the other to them, or giving someone your cloak as well if they sue you for your tunic. "'You have heard that it was said, 'Love your neighbor and hate your enemy.' But I tell you: Love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you, that you may be sons of your Father in heaven.'" (ch. 5. vs. 43-45) It's not hard to love those that love you. That's what every does. Love even your enemies. "Be holy, as I am holy." (ch. 5 vs. 48) What a challenge. To pursue holiness as HE is holy. Isn't that impossible? In college I remember talking about the different stages. That once you choose to follow Jesus, you are redeemed, but may still struggle with lots of things. You then are to pursue holiness in your life, through the redemptive work of Christ and His power within you (not your own) to the point that your "bent" towards sinning is actually reversed. You aren't perfect, by any means, but that through Christ's transforming power, and His constant hand in your life and Spirit present at your side, your decisions and actions begin to reflect Him. You begin to look like him in word and deed. This is the point of Sanctification. It's not until Heaven that we reach Glorification, where we are made perfect and our bodies whole. 
He then follows this decree with a warning, to "Be careful not to do your 'acts of righteousness' before men, to be seen by them. If you do, you will have no reward from your Father in heaven." (ch. 6 vs. 1) To strive to live a holy life isn't to gain recognition or admiration or praise from others, but to be obedient to God. Why is it so easy to let what others think of us dictate our actions, when our audiences are others and God. Isn't the choice obvious for who we should be aiming to please? It seems like it should be, but it's so easy to get caught up in letting myself worry about what others think of me, what I choose to do, what I hide from them. This may be a little cheesy, but the song is totally true, that we live for an Audience of One. There may be crowds surrounding us on a daily basis, but it's not their vote that matters. I think I could find so much freedom in this thought if I could just wrap my head around it. 
Don't announce you're giving, or your praying. It says not even so far as to let your right hand know what your left hand is doing. And I love this verse, "And when you pray, do not keep babbling like pagans, for they think they will be heard because of their many words. Do not be like them, for your Father knows what you need before you ask him." Freedom to not even be a perfect prayer! How many times do I need to remind myself of this? How often have I not prayed aloud in a group because of fear of men. LAME! Even God says not to be a babbler! I remember in high school getting papers back from Mrs. Hardy that said I was "fudge filling", as in, putting in extra stuff to make the paper look good instead of getting to the point. I don't want to, and I don't NEED to have fudge filled prayers. God totally knows what I'm going to ask before I pray, so he's obviously going to also know when I'm just filling in words. FREEDOM from long winded, babbling prayers! :) 

"This, then, is how you should pray: 
'Our Father in heaven, 
hallowed be your name,
your kingdom come,
your will be done
on earth as it is in heaven.
Give us today our daily bread.
Forgive us our debts, 
as we also have forgiven our debtors.
And lead us not into temptation, 
but deliver us from the evil one.'" (Ch. 6 Vs. 9-13)

Forgive those that sin against you, so God will forgive your sins. (vs. 14)
Don't look somber when you fast.
Don't store up treasures on earth. They don't last. They get eaten by lame things like moths and get covered with dust. Where your treasure is, your heart follows. Place your treasure in heaven!
Keep your eyes on good things. Your eyes are the lamp of your body. Don't let your body be full of darkness by letting your eyes go bad.
Don't let more than ONE THING control you. Two masters is impossible to serve. You have to choose. To have two is to put yourself in a position where you will love one of them and hate the other one. Don't make God one of those options. If it's between God and something else, choose God. Sounds like it should be obvious, but unfortunately, it isn't always.

Psalm 6:10
O LORD-
Do not rebuke me
Be merciful
Heal me
My soul is in anguish. How long?
Deliver me.
Your love is unfailing.
I'm worn out.
Weeping.
Sorrowful.
But my LORD has heard me.
He accepts my prayer.
My enemies will turn back.

Psalm 7:1-17
O LORD-
I take REFUGE in you
Save me.
Deliver me.
If there is guilt on me...
If I have done evil to another...
then let my enemies overtake me.
But Arise!
LORD, even if you are angry with me, awake!
Decree YOUR justice. The gracious kind. The justice that isn't fair.
For you save me, even in my sins.
You are MY SHIELD.
God Most High.
The same name King of Salem, Melchizedek, gives you.
God Most High.
He saves the "upright in heart".
God, search my heart.
I have sinned against you, but you are a righteous judge.
I dug a hole, and fell in it.
But I give THANKS that you are righteous, and I sing praises to your name.
LORD MOST HIGH.

Proverbs 1:29-33
Wisdom speaking again.
They hated knowledge.
Did not fear the LORD.
Spurned rebuke.
They will eat the fruit of their ways.
These are the results of their own choices.
"For the waywardness of the simple will kill them,
and the complacency of fools will destroy them;
but whoever listens to me will live in safety
and be at ease without fear of harm."

Proverbs 2:1-5
My son. My daughter.
Accept my words.
Store up my commandments.
Turn your ear to wisdom.
Call for insight.
Cry for understanding.
As if it were a treasure.
As precious as silver.
THEN you will understand the fear of the LORD.

January 5th

Genesis 11:1-13:4
There are three main things that are talked about in this passage. The Tower of Babel, the line of Abraham, and the journey of Abraham and Sarai into Egypt.

The Tower of Babel is so interesting to me. That the earth was all one language at one point, that God saw that if it stayed that would nothing would be impossible for men, and that He saw that as a negative enough thing that he decided to scramble their language to create a barrier between them so that they couldn't become so strong in their united forces.

I also find the story of Abraham and Sarai entering Egypt to really stand out. Abraham is so highly regarded as being a man of God, yet he tells his wife to pose as his sister so that his life can be spared. When Pharaoh then takes Sarai as his own wife, there is no apparent objection from Abraham. It takes God bringing plagues upon the house of Pharaoh, and then Pharaoh approaching Abraham about it and saying, "Why would you tell me this is your sister and let me take her as my wife?" I'm just amazed, I guess, that Pharaoh saw the wrongdoing that Abraham didn't see. Or perhaps Abraham knew it was wrong, but considered his life to be more important. There doesn't seem to be a whole lot of follow up to this story, and I'm curious if Abraham was sorry for what he'd done, or if he suffered any consequences for such a decision? I'd be interested in delving into some of the backround of this a little more to see if there's more information.

Matthew 5:1-26
The Beatitudes. Verses 3-10
Blessed are the poor in spirit, for theirs is the kingdom of heaven. 
Blessed are those who mourn, for they will be comforted. 
Blessed are the meek, for they will inherit the earth. 
Blessed are those who hunger and thirst for righteousness, for they will be filled. 
Blessed are the merciful, for they will be shown mercy. 
Blessed are the pure in heart, for they will see God. 
Blessed are the peacemakers, for they will be called sons of God. 
Blessed are those who are persecuted because of righteousness, for theirs is the kingdom of heaven. 

Verses 14-16
"You are the light of the world. A city on a hill cannot be hidden. Neither do people light a lamp and put it under a bowl. Instead they put it on its stand, and it gives light to everyone in the house. In the same way, let your light shine before men, that they may see your good deeds and praise you Father in heaven."

Something important in this passage of Matthew is God's declaring of the importance of human relationships. He says that if there is something unsettled between two people, that they should clear that up before they come to the altar with an offering. This clearly states the affect that fractured relationships have on people. It keeps us from being whole. And it keeps our hearts from being clear and prepared to enter fully into the presence of God.

Psalm 5:1-12 & Proverbs 1:24-28
This Psalms shows the vast difference between those who reject the Lord and those who put their trust in Him. David is asking the Lord to declare them who reject Him as guilty, but to be a shelter to those who take refuge in Him. Proverbs then follows with a strong warning. It's a picture of what happens to those who reject God. He says, "Then they will call to me but I will not answer; they will look for me but will not find me" (verse 28). When I read these kinds of verses I'm faced with the seriousness of the calling of God on our lives. We must respond. We cannot turn away from Him. He is a loving God, oh so loving and so patient, but He is a just God, and the day will come when those who have turned away from Him time and time again will experience His wrath. Sobering.

January 4th

Genesis 8:1-10:32- The flood has happened, the waters are receding, and the ark comes to rest on Mt. Ararat. Check out this picture of the mountain. Gorgeous. Sometimes it's hard to imagine places in the Bible. I feel like I've seen so many flannel-graph pictures of Mt. Ararat and the ark and the rainbow of God's promise to never flood the earth again, but something about seeing the actual picture of the mountain is just too cool. It's crazy to imagine all of this under water. It's a snow-capped dormant volcanic cone in Turkey. 

Once the dove didn't return, Noah and his family waited a little longer before leaving the ark, until the water had dried up from the earth. The Bible says Noah was 600 years old when the floodwaters came to the earth, and that "by the first day of the first month of Noah's 601 year, the water had dried up from the earth." Once everyone left the ark, Noah built an altar to the Lord. He actually sacrificed some of the clean animals that he had taken on the ark, which seems kind of crazy to me. He took 7 pairs of each of the clean animals, so I guess technically he had some to spare. But talk about keeping your priorities in line. The entire earth has just been wiped out with a massive flood, and here you are sacrificing some of the few animals you have alive. That is a true realization that the earth and everything in it belongs to God, and Noah definitely shows a reverence and love for this God that has just protected he and his family from the great flood. When God smelled the sweet smell of the offering He said, "Never again will I curse the ground because of man, even though every inclination of his heart is evil from childhood. And never again will I destroy all living creatures, as I have done. As long as the earth endures, seedtime and harvest, cold and heat, summer and winter, day and night will never cease." (Genesis 8:21-22) As long as the earth endures. Does that mean as long as it lasts? As long as it holds up? Or until the second coming of Christ? Ooooh, and I just found an answer for a question I had from January 1st. At creation, it seemed like God only gave us green vegetation to eat. It's after the flood that this changes. He says (Gen 9:2) "The fear and dread of you will fall upon all the beasts of the earth and all the birds of the air, upon every creature that moves along the ground, and upon all the fish of the sea; they are given into your hands. Everything that lives and moves will be food for you. Just as I gave you the green plants, I now give you everything." So that's where the switch happened. Good to know. :) Then God makes a covenant with Noah, his family and all the animals that He will never again destroy the earth by floods. And the sign of that covenant is the rainbow.
    The last section is interesting. Apparently, Noah plants a vineyard and then has a little too much to drink. Next thing he knows, he's intoxicated and naked inside his tent. One of his sons, Ham, sees him and goes and tells the other two brothers about it. It's the other two brothers that cover their father. When Noah hears about this later, he curses Ham and his descendants and says, "Cursed be Canaan! The lowest of slaves will he be to his brothers." Noah dies at the ripe old age of 950 years, and the rest of the passage, through the end of chapter 10, talks about the descendant lines of Noah's 3 sons.

Matthew 4:12-25: This section of Matthew begins to talk about Jesus' ministry of teaching. At this point, John the Baptist is in prison. Jesus begins calling his disciples. "Come, follow me, and I will make you fishers of men." He first calls Peter, Andrew, James and John. He makes his way through Galilee, teaching, preaching the good news of the kingdom and healing disease and sickness. Obviously, with all of this happening, news begins to spread. There's a Healer, and people are bringing their family and loved ones to Him. Some of the things the Bible lists Him healing are severe pain, demon possession, seizures and paralysis. How astounding would it be to have someone you loved be healed from what you thought was going to be a life long paralysis? Large crowds began to follow him.

Psalm 4:1-8: In this Psalm, David seems to be wrestling with a couple of things. First of all, David is crying out to God, begging for God to answer him. He's asking for God's mercy, that He will hear his prayer. On the other hand, he's also talking to the men of the land, asking how long they will seek false gods, sin in their anger and sacrifice wrongly. David is asking for God to intervene, to shine his light upon them. God fills his heart with greater joy than the passing food and drink that the men around him rejoice from. How often do I place my joy in things that are fleeting?

Proverbs 1:20-23 I'm just going to quote this, because I think it's beautiful.
*Note: "The Hebrew word rendered simple in Provers generally denotes one without moral direction and inclined to evil."
"Wisdom calls aloud in the street, 
she raises her voice in the public squares; 
at the head of the noisy streets she cries out, 
in the gateways of the city she makes her speech: 
'How long will you *simple ones love your simple ways? 
How long will mockers delight in mockery and fools hate knowledge? 
If you had responded to my rebuke, I would have poured out my heart to you
and made my thoughts known to you."

Perhaps God only opens the eyes of those that respond to His correction? 
I pray that my heart will always be open to His rebuking, so that I won't be marked a fool that hates true knowledge, or a simple one with a thirst for evil.

January 3rd

Genesis 5:1-7:24: This is a detailed account of Adam through his descendants until Noah. Man these guys lived a long time. Around 900 years for most of them. So crazy. And then in Gen 6:2-3 it talks about how the number of people increased, and the men were marrying any beautiful women they desired and it says that God basically reduced the number of years that man lived down to 120, saying that His Spirit wouldn't contend with them, for man was mortal. It continues to talk about how many had just become so wicked, thinking only of evil all the time, and how God was grieved that he had made humankind. He decided to wipe them out. But He noticed that Noah was different. Noah was the 10th in line down from Adam. Out of 10 people in the line, the Bible only mentions that two walked with God, Enoch and Noah. Enoch walked so closely with God that he didn't die, God simply took him. How incredible to be someone that God delighted in so much that He decides to take you for Himself. That's a serious relationship with God Almighty. God decided to spare Noah and his family and had them build the ark, so that when the floodwaters came, they would live, as well as two of every kind of land animal and bird. The earth was flooded, and everything that was on it destroyed. Noah and his family were in the ark for 150 days.

Matthew 3:7-4:11: John the Baptist baptizing; Jesus' Baptism; Jesus being tempted in the desert.
Something that stuck out to me was the warning that John the Baptist gave the Pharisees when they approached the river that he was baptizing in. He said of Jesus that His "winnowing fork is in his hand, and he will clear his threshing floor, gathering his wheat into the barn and burning up the chaff with unquenchable fire." He was trying to tell them that when the judgement day came, Jesus would be able to sift out the wheat from the chaff, He would know the difference between those that really knew Him, and those that were banking on getting in because of their good name, their good deeds, or their family name. The Pharisees were known for relying on good works, sacrifices and following the law to get them into heaven. What John is saying is, that's not what it's about. This is something I have to remind myself of often. It feels like there's a fine line between doing good things because you're trying to gain points, and doing good things because those are the fruits that are produced when you're following Christ. One follows the other, not good deeds in order to attain salvation, but salvation that produces good deeds. And the good deeds aren't a means to an end or to make us feel good. They should be something that we almost can't help. When Christ is truly living within someone, their actions and thoughts and responses to other people should be radically different than if they were operating on their own accord. The fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, gentleness and self-control. That's what should happen when the Spirit is living inside of you. Man, I can see some fruits in that list that have been absent in my own life. Holy Spirit, be evident in my day to day. Be in control of my self.

Psalm 3:1-8: David is writing this Psalm while in the middle of fleeing from his son, Absalom. He is declaring that he is not afraid, for he knows that Lord is a shield around him. He can lie down and sleep peacefully, and wake up again because it is the Lord who sustains him.

Provers 1:10-19: This is a warning to not join in with those that are seeking to destroy others. The language used is "lie in wait for someone's blood" and "waylay some harmless soul". Obviously, in my day to day life I'm not in conversations about plans to take other people down, murder them and steal their belongings. But there are often conversations that aren't edifying or uplifting to other people. And there are times that I find myself rushing into those. Guard my tongue, Lord. I pray that I don't rush to speak ill of someone else. The closing verse of this Proverbs has a warning for those that do. It's actually destructive to the person guilty of the ill-hatched plan. Never have I felt good after talking poorly about someone else. I always get a sick feeling in my stomach. Most of the time I know that, while I was selfishly trying to make someone else look bad, I ended up making myself look bad. Keep your tongue from evil, and your lips from speaking lies. "Such is the end of all who go after ill-gotten gain. It takes away the lives of those who get it."

January 2nd

Tonight's reading was:
Genesis 3:1-4:26 - The fall. This passage went through the decision of Adam and Eve to eat the one fruit from the one tree that God had ordered them not to. Isn't that just like a human to do the one thing they've been told not to do. Crazy. I just wonder if they'd had any perspective at all, would they change their minds. The serpent even says, when he's in the middle of enticing them, "when you eat of it your eyes will be opened, and you will be like God, knowing good and evil." If they had taken a second to think about that statement, would they have realized or considered that maybe they didn't want to know evil? They obviously were already experiencing good. It just blows my mind. But then again, who hasn't been tempted by something that is forbidden? What follows is a total change in order. They now know they're naked, and life has to change. They have to leave this beautiful garden, their relationship with God changes, the serpent is cursed with slithering on the ground and eating dust all his days (yum), the woman is cursed with pains during childbirth (crazy that this would have been a breeze before?) It also says of the woman that her desire will be for her husband and he will rule over you. Makes me wonder if the relationship had to change at this point, with the husband taking on more dominion over the wife because of her need for instruction or accountability? Just interesting that this is listed with the curses of the wife. And then Adam is left with toiling hard in the fields for not much gain. My imagination just starts running and I wonder if crops just grew on their own before this? I don't know. Maybe silly. :)

This is also the chapter where Cain murders Abel. It's amazing how quickly humanity became unruly. Within the first generation we have murder. The passage continues on to talk about the descendants of these first people. It ends saying "At that time men began to call on the name of the Lord".

Matthew 2:12-3:6 - This section of Matthew talks about how God continues to warn Mary and Joseph about people wanting to kill Jesus and to where they should flee. Just the intimate relationship they must have had with God to be able to distinguish his voice and trust it so assuredly that they could depend on him to keep Jesus safe. Pretty cool. They end up fleeing to Egypt, and then to Nazareth, where they settle in. Then enters John the Baptist, preparing the way for Christ.

Psalm 2:1-12 - Talking about the nations and the rulers speaking against the Lord, wanting to "break their chains and throw off their fetters" as if the life that the Lord calls us to lead is the one that is binding. When will we realize that walking in the path the Lord sets out brings more freedom than walking outside of His will. He created a perfect order. The Psalm ends by talking about serving the Lord with fear and trembling. The Proverbs for the night 1:7-9, reiterates that statement by saying that "The fear of the Lord is the beginning of knowledge, but fools despise wisdom and discipline." Again, there's the idea that it is wisdom, not foolishness, that is developed out of a healthy fear, awe and respect of God.

Excited about digging in and jotting down some notes. Enjoying this.

Purpose

Really searching for purpose in life. Garrett and I had a good chat tonight about our relationship. He kindly brought up to me that he doesn't feel like I give as much to it as he does. Not that he gives to get something in return, but if I'm trying to show love he doesn't want to miss it. I sat there with no defense, for I've been selfish in our marriage. Just not able to see much past my own circumstances. I've been feeling pretty overwhelmed with life in general for me, and it doesn't leave much energy for him. Something's got to give. We even threw around the thought of me possibly not keeping a job, at least not a full time one, for much longer. I want to focus on my relationship with him, building a solid foundation and home, before really bringing in kids to the world. I just feel like at this point in life that is so much more important that career choices and trying to "succeed" by any sort of standards the world seems to place on me. Or I even place on myself. Anyways, good discussion. It's always great to connect with G and just hear from his heart. He's a good man.

January 1st

This is gonna be pretty basic tonight. I'm already behind a day (It's actually January 2nd), and I read the Creation chapter, Genesis 1:1-2:25, the really long list of Jesus' grandfathers and great great great......great grandfathers in Matthew 1:1-2:12, Psalms 1:1-6 and Proverbs 1:1-6.

Just had a couple of thoughts.

In Genesis, I think the thing that stuck out to me this time in the Creation story was the part where the Bible discusses the food God gave us to eat. Apparently, in the original plan, we were supposed to be vegetarians. Genesis 1: 29-30 says "Then God said, 'I give you every seed-bearing plant on the face of the whole earth and every tree that has fruit with seed in it. They will be yours for food. And to all the beasts of the earth and all the birds of the air and all the creatures that move on the ground- everything that has the breath of life in it - I give every green plant for food.' And it was so." Just think that's kind of interesting. Maybe I'm taking it out of context. Might have to look into that a little more. :) UPDATE: Looks like the change to meat eating happened after the flood. :)

In Matthew, and this is something I always find just amazing about Jesus' birth story, I was reminded of the character of Joseph. How much integrity does a guy have to have to stick with a girl that's pregnant, but claiming to still be a virgin, and then even after he marries her, to not sleep with her until she has the baby Jesus. He had such a vision for the plan of God, and without much apparent hesitation (he did think things over a little) decided that he was going with God's plan over his own. Amazing.

Psalms talked about the man that is blessed because he delights in the law of the Lord. That meditating day and night on the Lord is like being a tree planted by streams of water, that bears all kinds of fruit in its season. If I can think of one place that feels refreshing to drink from (besides our filtered water cooler) it's a stream with fresh water. Oh to be like a tree planted there. With roots that are just soaking up that goodness. I pray that God gives me the desire to continue to seek Him daily.

Proverbs talks about wisdom and having a disciplined life. About seeking guidance from the wise and adding to your learning. Something I need to do more of. May I seek out counsel of those and not be shy to ask questions.

God, thanks for new beginnings and for always being faithful, even to my wandering heart.

Psalm 130

Psalm 130

A song of ascents.

 ¹ Out of the depths I cry to you, LORD;
 ² Lord, hear my voice.
Let your ears be attentive
   to my cry for mercy.

 ³ If you, LORD, kept a record of sins,
   Lord, who could stand?
⁴ But with you there is forgiveness,
   so that we can, with reverence, serve you.

 ⁵ I wait for the LORD, my whole being waits,
   and in his word I put my hope.
⁶ I wait for the Lord
   more than watchmen wait for the morning,
   more than watchmen wait for the morning.

 ⁷ Israel, put your hope in the LORD,
   for with the LORD is unfailing love
   and with him is full redemption.
⁸ He himself will redeem Israel
   from all their sins.

taken from biblegateway.com

Explanations

Just wanted to throw a couple of things out there.

1. This is kind of a new venture for me. Talking about my faith, my thoughts, etc. I'm not planning on anyone reading this, but didn't prevent it either. Most of what I write will probably be musings, uncertainties, thoughts I really don't have clear or figured out, and things that I question as I read through the Bible this year.

2. I was raised a preacher's kid, and for the most part, truly enjoyed it. I do think that my faith has struggled a bit to become my own, as it was something I was raised into. I am constantly desiring for a deeper relationship with God, but to be honest, haven't put the effort into the relationship myself that I've needed to. I want that to change, I want it to be real in my life, and I want to act out of and live out of a life that's responding to Him always.

3. In order to make this a priority, I've decided to work through one of the One Year Bible's. Not because I want to get through the Bible in a year, because I don't feel like I have a time limit, but because I know myself and know I need structure. For everything. I can't play an instrument unless I have music to read. I can't cook a meal unless I have a recipe. I can't work out unless I have a plan or a distance to run. So I'm assuming that's where my struggle with the Bible has been. I never know where to start. So now I'm gonna start, and let whoever organized this particular One Year Bible tell me what to read. Update. After 12 days, I quit reading. I put too much pressure on myself. Posts following January 12th will probably be different. :) 

4. I am not perfect. I have made many mistakes in life. I have lots of things that I regret and lots of things that I continue to carry scars from. I'm sure there will be recurring themes in my posts. Themes about grace, forgiveness, His loving compassion, redemption and second chances. Freedom is what I seek. He's freed me from my chains and forgiven me for my sins. Now I want to live in that forgiveness.

5. The title of my blog came from a Sara Groves song. If I'm ever needing a lift in my journey, I plug in Sara Groves and let her sing me through some of the harder times. She speaks such truth in her lyrics. I'll probably refer to more of her songs throughout the year.  The song the title of my blog came from is called "Help Me Be New" The song goes like this : ( I highlighted the parts the I feel like really stand out to me)


God is doing a work in me
He's walking through my rooms and halls
Checking every corner
Tearing down the unsafe walls
And letting in the light

I am working hard
To clean my house and set it straight
To not let pride get in the way
To catch an eternal vision of
What I am to become

Will you help me be new
Will you hold me to the promises
That I have made
Will you let me be new
Forgive my old self and my old mistakes

It seems easier
Living out my life in Christ
For those who do not know me
To hide the thorns stuck in my side
And all my secret faults
But you know me well
And it's you I want the most to see
And recognize the changes
A word from you empowers me
To press on for my goal

When I feel condemned to live my old life
Remind me I've been given a new life in Christ

6. This blog is for me.